I met my younger self for coffee...

this is what I told her I wished I had known

Jul 07, 2025

I met my younger self for coffee.

She ordered a cafe au lait and poured a raw sugar packet in it, because she said it reminded her of France. I ordered a delicious mocha with macadamia milk, but eyed her cafe au lait, parce que…vrai.

I wanted to tell her so much, but knew she had to figure out, go through, experience, and learn it on her own. I’d been thinking and praying about what I could say that would matter most.

“What did you read in your Bible today?” I asked.

She looked around, because she doesn’t talk about that kind of thing much. She does read her Bible, but puts it under her pillow and does her best to be the girl everyone wants her to be—get the grades, look the part, impress the professors, build her resume, catch the boys attention, lead the organizations. “Umm, the parable of the sower and the seed. Darn thorns of this world always choking me down.”

I look her directly in the eyes. “They don’t have to.”

“Come on,” she half laughs. “Boys, roommate drama, grades, finding a job after college...” her voice trails, “trying so hard not to let anybody down.”

“Right. Life will come at you, for sure, and sometimes it will be hard, but if you turn over all those things to Jesus, ask Him what He wants you to do, spend time with Him, those thorns can’t choke you anymore. You’ll grow and bloom instead.”

the more time we spend with Jesus, the more we’ll bloom and grow

She looked down and sipped her coffee.

“Really?” she asked.

“Really.” I nod.

I knew everything on her plate. I knew how desperately she wanted to feel loved and accepted. I knew she hustled doing everything she could, (including things she shouldn’t) to feel wanted, like she mattered, to prove herself. I also knew that she was already fully loved and accepted by Jesus. That He created her—all of her quirks, giftings, interests, mannerisms, passions—and loved it when she lived freely how He created her to be, without worrying about pleasing others. I knew when she turned her problems and fears and worries over to Jesus, He would ALWAYS direct her steps and lead her to goodness. It was up to her to choose to spend time with Him, to follow Him.

“But how does it all turn out?” She asked, looking up, tears in her eyes, her voice shook a little in fear of our future.

My heart ached for her. “Beautifully.” I nod. “As soon as you start turning things over to Jesus, it all becomes more beautiful than you can imagine.”